Friends made at the age of just 18 may change as students hit their senior year

Ruth Brown

Ruth BrownOpinion Editor

Tennessee Williams once said, “Life is partly what we make it and partly what is made by the friends we choose.”

After spending an evening catching up with some friends; I woke the following morning to a kind of epiphany. Some of the individuals that I was spending my time with were absolutely self-centered, repugnant people. It quickly struck me that I no longer wanted to be their friend and truly didn’t care if I ever hung out with them again.

That evening we sat together making small talk and catching up on our everyday lives and I was profoundly surprised at how they were talking about other human beings and the selfish words that so easily rolled off their tongues.

I don’t exactly know how I never realized it before but it suddenly smacked me in the forehead before I even knew what was coming. Coming in as a freshman to SDSU, the 18-year-olds that move their futons, laptops and brightly-colored furniture into the dorms have one thing on their mind; meeting new people and trying new things now that they are out of the watchful eye of their parents.

I, as most freshman are, was on the hunt for this very thing. You meet different kinds of people and because they are not exactly like you, they suddenly become absolutely tremendous.

Now I sit drinking my coffee, at the age of 22, and find myself with a new outlook on life. I will be graduating in December and no longer worry about what others think, the sheer number of friends that I made in one week, or whether or not I got invited to Saturday’s party. I cherish the friends I have, have a passion for words and love my family more than language could convey.

I can think of about three people that I would consider my genuine friends, one being my sister. Real friendship does not include people who will do shots with you at the end of a hard day or those who belittle other people to make themselves feel more important.

Bona fide friendships consists of people who make you laugh when all else fails, people who pick you up when you are broken, and people who share with you things that they would otherwise be terrified of telling others.

To the freshmen coming in this semester, I encourage you to choose your potential new friends carefully. Rather than selecting them based on their level of popularity or hotness factor, strive to find people who you care for. If you are a somewhat religious individual, try going to the Newman Center or University Lutheran Center or another campus ministry. Join a club that interests you or get involved with intramural sports.

I have made the mistake of making some poor friendships and I stress to you not to follow in my footsteps. It took me about a year of college to finally realize this, and I now have some beautiful friendships, but I was not always this fortunate.

Trust yourself and your belief in what is real. Never doubt yourself. My father, who is undoubtedly the smartest person I have ever known, once told me that as long as you believe that what you are doing is truly right, it doesn’t matter what others think of you.

Ruth Brown is a senior journalism major. Contact her at [email protected].