Thinking about future means feeling a little bit like Peter Pan


It’s that time of year again. Christmas, then Valentine’s Day, then quickly followed by spring break. This is the time of year I like to call the epoch of engagements. It seems like every spring semester is accompanied by a whole new group of giggly young women who have developed some kind of twitch in their left hand.

Of course, I’m guilty of giggling with them and gazing at their rings in awe, but I can’t help but to think is that really what I want? I feel like I am in an old time movie where every girl is racing to the altar after they graduate. Obviously, I will be playing the role of the rule-breaking, hooligan who doesn’t abide by the predispositions of society. There’s just one problem with this picture: I have been dating a wonderful man for almost three years and I am awaiting a ring myself.

What happened to my vision of being young and single, joining the Peace Corps, traveling the world, curing cancer, joining the circus and making an Academy Award winning film? I had my life (sort of) planned out and falling in love was not on my schedule. The truth is, unlike most girls, getting married was never very high on my “adult to-do list”. While some young women cannot wait to walk down the isle in a poofy, white dress, this image absolutely terrifies me.

I feel as though I am Peter Pan surrounded by a flock of Wendys. Everyone else seems so eager to start their life after college, but I’m still apprehensive. I know that after I graduate in May, I will have to move out of the state, get a “big girl” job, settle down, get married and survive on my own livelihood. My carefree, youthful years are slipping through my 22-year-old fingers. I don’t want to grow up, I don’t want to grow up, I DON’T WANT TO GROW UP! No answer? Ok, I guess I’ll have to then.

No matter how long I try to hold off “the real world” it seems to be slowly inching itself into my life. When I watch women my age, or even younger, get married and have children, it makes me wonder what’s wrong with me? Shouldn’t I want to get married and start a family? Of course I do, but you know, not for another 10 years! I know that I cannot stop the inevitable from happening and I will just have to grow up.

My point is, I count myself very lucky to have found the man I will spend the rest of my life with. I know many girls struggle in their college years trying to find “the one” and others jump way too quickly into a relationship, engagement and marriage. I feel like I have found the right balance for me, and hope that others find their balance. All I hope for any girl is to just take each day as it comes and for them to not lose themselves to the “real world”.

Hannah is a senior majoring in journalism. Reach her at [email protected].