Meeting someone is harder than ever before because it’s too easy to swipe left or right on an endless catalog of potential partners. Dating apps have killed the college dating scene.
When it comes to actually meeting up with someone, commitment issues are all too real. The indecisiveness built into this dating app culture traps us into a perpetual cycle of swipes and an all too familiar script of late night meaningless conversations.
Conversations that typically go like this:
Him at 2 a.m.: “U up”
You at 2:04 a.m.: “Yes.”
Him at 2:09 a.m.: “Wanna hang?”
You at 10:30 a.m.: “Nah. Maybe later.”
College is a time for us to expand our social skills and conversations like this hinder us. How many conversations like this have we had?
World peace seems easier than getting a boyfriend at this point. Figuring out the dating culture of today is a bigger project than I have time for.
In the past, was it really this tiring? Did my mom have to stay up till 2 a.m. for a guy to finally give her the time of day?
We all know the answer is most likely no. There was a conventional process back then for dating. One that made it less awkward, dreadful and confusing.
Kerry Cronin, a professor of philosophy at Boston College, believes our culture has lost the ability to date because our generation has no “script” when it comes to dating.
She discovered this lack of norm while asking students if they were seeing anyone and other questions about their relationships.
“The more we talked about it, the more I detected both wistfulness and anxiety among the students over the thought of graduating without having developed the basic social courage to go on a date,” she said.
She discusses how our generation has not been given the rules to ask someone out.
Cronin eventually made it a requirement as a part of her class for students to ask someone on a date in person, without involving drugs, alcohol or sex. Students found the assignment confusing, so she started offering definitions and tasks to help.
She set a few rules to coach her students through low-risk casual dating, like: the date shouldn’t be any more than $10 or there should be a plan within three days of asking someone out.
Cronin’s assignment makes the point very clear: there is a lack of understanding of how to form relationships and the 2 a.m. Tinder tango is not helping.
Let’s end this unhealthy dating culture and try to make dating a little easier for all of us through a little more clarity and courage.
Brianna Schreurs is the Managing Editor at The Collegian and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.